Yes, I know…it’s weird to start things with week 3 but I really meant to start this ages ago. It’s been months since I decided that I wanted to embark on some grand personal “mind, body, and soul” journey. Something along the lines of Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, which I ranted about endlessly in my last post…minus the “eat” though, I really don’t need more “eat!” But I found myself struggling to begin anything new up until two weeks ago, when I finally got off my butt and decided, “Enough sulking, it’s time to start fresh.”
I have become your grade A, walking cliche. I loved then lost love; I climbed high then tripped and fell horribly; I followed my heart yet came crashing down; basically any age-old saying that translates simply to: I got screwed over! Dramatic much? Maybe…but I guess that’s how most people feel when they fight so hard for what they want and STILL end up losing miserably.
But enough is enough — cue motivational music please. There’s a simple reason why we all fall down at one point or other: to get back up again. In that case, let Project Dina Transformation begin.
Step 1: Get a summer job. And it’s not just about filling the time or making money (ok fine the money is a major plus — a huge chunk of it is already promised to a Louis Vuitton I’ve had my eye on for ages). But I need to feel like I’m doing something important…something that will set some kind of path for my future rather than the circles I’m running around myself.
Step 2: Get fit, kill insecurity and feel great.
Step 3: Surround myself with the people I love. With that said, let me take this moment to admit and apologize to everyone I’ve pushed away in the past year. You have no idea of the value you hold in my heart.
So I realize this completely goes against my whole plan to spend all four months of summer being Italian and doing absolutely nothing (see previous post) but I can’t do it! Now I’m entering into week 3 and I have to say it feels pretty good! I’ve gotten that job, I’ve been pretty consistent with the whole getting fit thing and I’m reaching out to everyone who holds a piece of my heart.
Fingers crossed I keep up with this kind of will power.
: : : Say a prayer for me. Help me to feel the strength I did. My identity…Has it been taken? Is my heart breaking on me? All my plans fell through my hands. All my dreams suddenly seem empty : : :
— Empty, The Cranberries —