It was barely three days ago…I stood in the parking lot of my dorms with the people I cared most about. My bags were already in the trunk and the moment came long before I wished it…I looked at each of them and for the first time…ever…I wasn’t sure when I’d see them again or if we’d keep in touch like we promised we would. I didn’t want anyone else but them. They were the people you have lunch with every day despite the busy schedules; the people you get mad at just because you didn’t see them enough that week; the people you fill your weekend plans with; the people who knew every detail of you. These were the people who made up my home away from home…and suddenly I had to say goodbye.
For those of you who know me you’ve probably heard this sob story a million times. For those who don’t might think this is typical…but what can I say? The heart feels what it wants to feel and unfortunately, I cant help but feel like I wish I hugged them a little longer…held them a little closer…wished hard enough that they would stay with me forever.
What is the big deal about saying goodbye anyway? Is it really losing the people you cared most about? Because suddenly I realized that it’s not just the goodbye that tears me up inside. It’s saying hello again…opening up again…coordinating minds and coordinating time and finding someone else who can be as in sync with you as your friends before that. It’s finding people who will love your quirks…finding people who you can’t get enough of. God, who are these strangers?
Call me stubborn…but I’m not ready to open up to anyone else. I won’t give up those faces in the parking lot.
: : : And the tears come streaming down your face when you lose something you can’t replace; when you love someone but it goes to waste. Could it be worse? : : :
— Fix You, Coldplay —