I use to have this one charm bracelet I was in love with. It had a single charm hanging dead in the middle of it…a little box that read “Hope: The feeling that what is wanted can be had.” Eventually the bracelet rusted a bit and the charm fell off. Figures…I had bought it from Claire’s.
Whatever happened to me and Hope? Whatever happened to that optimism…that complete surety I use to have that good things come after rainy days…that knights in shining armor and happily ever afters really do exist? I guess at some point I stopped believing in that fairy tale i surrounded myself in. I got sucked into the thoughts of thousands of people out there who lost hope and the will to believe in absurd ideas…now I’m no better than them. not any less cynical or sadly enough to say…pessimistic.
So why question it now? I guess I want that world back…that world that made me feel so invincible.
Earlier today I got an unexpected email from a friend I love. one of those friends you’ve only seen once or twice but the fact that you just clicked like crazy kept you together. We use to email all the time…about those crazy unrealistic things you read about in books…marshmallow clouds and Never Never Lands. She wrote:
“I’m wondering whats going on? still got that spark in you that I’ve never seen anywhere else? i used to have it, somehow i think it floated away- I left Neverland and grew up…now I’m wondering which turn in the path i took was wrong. I’m looking for my pixie dust, i hid it here somewhere, i just don’t know where. I’m hoping you never lost yours, let me know. i wanna know that miracles still exists.”
I want my fairy tale back.
: : I’m too tired to listen. I’m too old to believe all those childish stories. There is no such thing as faith and trust and pixie dust : :
— Jonatha Brooke, I Try —